I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize