It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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