There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
