I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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