Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
