i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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