I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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