I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
