My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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