All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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