We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
