I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
