So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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