why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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