just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
