I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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