I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
