Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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(850): View more from Florida

u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

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(619): View more from California

I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

(637): View more from

We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.

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(727): View more from Florida

i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there

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