Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
