Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
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Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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