Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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