Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
