And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
