we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
