i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
