Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
