Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
