Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
