yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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