Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
