...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
