Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize