it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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