Already got asked if we're dating
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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