its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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