she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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