it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
