I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
