Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
