Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is Oprah even human
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
