CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
