hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
