your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
