I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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