How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so let's talk penis.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have already put on my inside pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
