gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
