I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
