I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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