If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
