Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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