i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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