Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
