He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
