I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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