imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
