You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
