i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
