Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
