that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
