so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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