She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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