can we get nightvision for the apartment?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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